The Rue Era: The Insanity Begins
by h0tbread
Summary: Rue, Mary-Sue killer and insane sixth grader is sent on a secret mission. Better than it sounds! WARNING, misuse of pigs, pumpkin pies, and iPads included. Join the 105% human herself, Rue, in this poorly written Fanfiction. SQUADALA I AM OFF!
1. Chapter 1  Graduation Day

**_Lookie! It's Aktress, back with another poorly-written fanfiction! _**

**_My last story, _Muffins of Doom, _was a complete flop. And a total Mary-Sue. So at the end, some of you may remember a figure coming in, blowing Rosella to smitherines, and exiting the story riding a pig off into the sunset._**

**_This figure caught my and the voice in my head whom I named Queenie's attention. So Queenie convinced me to write this story. I later thought, This girl is so cool, why not give her a SERIES? So this is like The Nightmare Begins of The Rue Era!_**

**_*NOTE- This may sound COMPLETELY like The Nightmare Begins. But just stick with it. Believe me, if you like randomness, pigs, Mary-Sue death, AND pie, continue reading this!_**

Chapter 1: Graduation Day

It was an important day at Ralati Acadamy for the Gifted, otherwise known to the students as the acadamy. Their grand theater was filling up, where talent shows, special preformances, the acadamy's yearly play, and this one event were shown.

You see, Ralati Acadamy is not your ordinary acadamy. It trains boys and girl at the young age of three until they are in level 8, (Grade six, in simple terms) where they graduate into full fledged agents. Ralati specializes in secret agents, spies, scientists, and even invaders, you might say.

All the students flocked into the theater like a bunch of ruffled chickens, the Level eights in the front, and the Littles in the back, staring with admiration and jealousy, dreaming of the day they would graduate.

But behind the closed iron gates of Ralati, there are too many secrets then have been heard by the simple human ear... there have been rumors though. Rumors of inhuman things. Some claim they've seen people fly over the gates, others with speed as fast as a cheetah. Others say they know they use insane gadgets, things not even the secret services could dream up. Even reports of aliens have made their way around...

But the acadamy had people who also couldn't go to school at the actually acadamy. That' why like every good collage, some people could keep in touch using a special webcam kind of website called the Swollen Eyeball Network. Everyone had a special username for it.

The theater buzzed with excited and nervous chatter as all the students sat, and they grew silent as a tall man climbed up the stairs slowly, and took his place at the microphone. He coughed and smoothed his green robes. His name was Headmaster Green, based on the colors he wore, and his pericing green eyes. Littles gossip and tell stories that he killed a man just by staring at him once.

"Welcome, Agents-to-be! you are some of the finest agents this world knows and has to offer! And that means of everyone, not just you kidos! Good for you," Headmaster Green anounced. There were loud cheers from the agents. Green smiled and silenced them. "Sitting in the front row however, are our graduating agents who have gone through countless hours of training and small missions to get to where they are now!

"Each is assigned differently, based on their skills, they will succeed, if I know my dear students!" He chuckled. "There, they will acess all information, and surviving the missions we send them on, no matter the cost! When they finish, they will press a small button on their wrist-watches to alert us, earning our congradulations, and a small box of snickerdoodles."

There was a roar from the crowd and screams of "Go, Agents!" and "Yeah, Snickerdoodles!" were heard.

"Now let the great assigning begin!" The crowd was silent, except for the Level Eight, all eager to be assigned.

"Step forward, Agent Blu," Green announced and a short girl with long black hair twirled onto the stage gracefully. "Ah, Blu! One of our best dancers in the acadamy," Green chuckled. "We were going to send you on a mission to Jupiter..."

Blu's normally cheerful face suddenly dropped and turned pale. "Bu- but everyone knows life is unsustainable on Jupiter!" Blu nearly whispered, terrified. Not even with all the amazing technolodgy of the acadamy could anyone survive on the planet. Green nodded.

"Yes, that was your mission. To see if life was sustainable at all. But due to how your grades have improved, and how you knocked a substitute teacher out cold in martial arts yesterday, you have been assigned to a murder mystery at a ballet studio in Paris."

Blu's eyes lit up. "Yes!" She loved solving murder mysteries, and everyone knew she had every Nancy Drew book, every one read of course. And at a ballet studio in Paris! It was a dream come true! Blu twirled in a circle and flew into the air, grabbing a backpack with her name on it, and zoomed out the skylight. Yes, most rumors were true. Every student could fly, and had incredible speed, some people even had rare qualities, like supersonic hearing or mind reading.

Green waved to her and turned back to the theater crowd. "Up next, Agent Fum!"

*** Somewhere in the halls***

Rue ran down the hall franticly and quickly. "I'm so late! No no no, the MOST important day of an agents life and the stupid nurse tries to stop me!" She muttered to herself worriedly and whipped around a corner with inhuman-like speed. She bit her lip and pushed her small sixth grade body to run quicker. She pushed herself to the limit; 57 miles per hour. Rue smiled grimly as she spotted the theater.

***Inside the theater***  
"- and has been recognised as one of our most elite students in the accadamy! Thank you, Agent Mit. And last, Agent Pim!" Called out Headmaster Green over the noise of Mit zooming off outside, all his friends calling after him. The last person in the front row, a little girl who was known as Pim, ran up, her little pudgy body slowing her down. Pim wasn't exactly MVP of her grade. She played with her pigtails nervously while Green looked her over.

"Pim, you are not one of the greatest success stories we've ever trained... Well, Pim. We only have one mission left, and that was our Jupiter plan... so.. I guess that's yours. See you later then!" Pim bit her lip, not eager to leave or let any tears show. Letting someone see you cry was a sign of weakness. Pim put on a grim face and was about to fly up when the theater doors swung open, the Litttles looking at the figure in a dramatic pose.

**_Like I said, IT GETS BETTER! So move on to chapter two, and things will start to get better! :)_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress._**


	2. Chapter 2 Rue

**_Just wait, everything gets a little better..._**

Chapter 2: Rue

"WAIT!" Screamed a small voice. Green squinted and groaned when he saw who it was.

"Oh, great. Note to self, fire nurses," Green grumbled as the short figure in a pink hospital gown and a long, spiky red ponytail with one huge bang raced up to the stage and leaped on.

"Phew! I made it just in time! No one sent me an wrist-vataion!" Rue said out of breath, pointing to her watch, where all students sent wrist-mail and called each other. Green sighed.

"You were never planned to be sent a wrist-vataion, Rue. Where are your nurses?" Green asked tiredly.

"Oh, well when they tried to keep me inside my hospital bed, I had to tie them up and hook them to the ceiling!" Rue said happily. That drew a gasp from the crowd. Green looked at her in a mix of disbelief and admiration.

Rue was one of the most interesting little girls he'd ever seen. She was good, if not the best in her grade at all skills, battle, weapons, stealth, and hiding. Rue even had a power not many agents could posses, she could shapeshift. Rue's one flaw was that she was half of the time crazy, not remembering manners, basic rules, and sometimes she forgot who was friend or foe. Whenever that happened, you could tell because her normally dark black-brown eyes turned a bloody crimson. The only reason Green kept her was for testing, really. He needed to know what her condition was, and also why she was so good at everything. That is why she lived in the hospital ever since her parents had sent her here, fearing their own lives as three year old Rue beat up a burgler about to rob their house.

"You tied them to the CEILING?" Green asked in disbelief. Rue gave him a toothy grin of triumph.

"Yes, and I'll be accepting my mission now!" Rue said with her arms outstreached as if accepting a present. Green looks uncomfterably at the teachers in the audience. They didn't move. Best not get in Rue's way.

"The assigning is over, Rue," Green said finally.

"But you can't send HER on a mission and not me!" Rue gestured to Pim, who just looked sadly down.

"Rue... why don't you go back to you quarters, and we'll send you in a nice warm slice of pumpkin pie..." Green tried to bribe her with her favorite food.

"But I'm of age! Don't I get a special mission too?" Rue asked sweetly. Green looked around nervously.

"Well..."

Rue stared at him and started to hyperventalate. Her eyes started glowing that dreaded crimson. "BUT... then the cows... THE COWS!" She screamed, not making any sence whatsoever.

Green looked at her with fear. "RUE ALARM! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! EVERYONE OUT!" Green screamed and ran for it out the doors, followed by the screaming students and teachers. Now, everyone has a fear. Spiders, death, but everyone in this school had only one fear: Rue.

In five seconds time, the theater was empty. Rue blinked and her eyes were back to their normal dark shade. She looked around, everyone gone. Except Pim. Pim was standing on the other side of the stage, scared stiff. She gave a nervous huge smile, and zoomed out into the sky, snatching her pack.

Rue looked around again, suddenly sad. Why was everyone so scared of her? They never treated her nicely. Was it because they didn't think she could handle it? Rue stuck her bottom lip out and crossed her arms. Suddenly, a screen was rolling down from the back of the stage. Rue stared at it as an image of Headmaster Green came on.

"Hello, Rue, we shall continue this conversation now, just for my own safety reasons, using this two way screen," Green said with slight fright in his voice.

"Fine, then! And I will still argue that I should become a real agent! Agent's blood marches through my veins! Just like some type of rubber pants, of the radioactive sort! It's like the pants comand me! Do not ignore my veins!" Rue rambled on, her eyes still a redish glow. Green just stared at her, half confused. A teacher walked up to him and whispered something to him, his face slowly brightening.

"I see now that you are truly deserving of a mission, Rue," Green said, chuckling a little.

"Yes, yes I am," Rue said excitedly.

"You will have a mission so top secret, no agent has ever been there before, it's name unknown to most!" Green said mysteriously. Rue's eye got huge.

"What's it's name?" She dared ask.

"Uh... actually, I don't know," He said akwardly.

"Then where is it?" She asked. Green looked nervous.

"Erm... uh... he turned around in his chair and wrote on a peice of paper quickly, then held it up. It was a crudely drawn map of the United States, marked with an X. Rue looked excited.

"A secret mission..." She said quietly to herself.

"Happy now?" Green asked, happy to finally be rid of the maniac. This much skill wasn't worth the insanity.

"Yes," She said with her eyes twiching a crimson shade slightly. Green flinched.

"One of our janitors have left a backpack up there just for you, Rue. Good luck, and don't come back. Please," Green said and the screen went blank. Rue grinned hugely and bit her lip with excitement. She flew up to the backpacks.

"There has to be one left!" Rue said as she searched through the empty racks of backpack hangers. Then, lo and behold, glory to God! Rue spotted a backpack in the very back of the hangers. She flew up to it. It was torn, but still in pretty good condition, just a little dusty is all. Rue opened it and pulled out the mission card that was in every backpack.

"Secret mission: Alien sightings. 100% true. Please, don't come back until you capture a real alien or artifact. EVER." Read the card. It didn't look like a normal card... it had weird writing, and it was a deep shade of blue, not the regular lavender. But this was a secret mission!

Rue grinned. Just what she needed, a secret mission! Just think of all the praise she would get from her peers as she dragged an alien into the acadamy! Rue squeeled and put the card back.

"Ouch!" She excalimed and drew her finger from the backpack quickly, bringing it to her mouth. "What the-?" Rue pulled out a rose from the backpack. She gave a little gasp of surprise. They didn't give anything but the esentials to Agents. Why would a rose be in here? And not just any rose, but one with petals of blue, like nothing she'd ever seen. It was tied with a small black bow, and Rue seemed bonded to it for some odd reason.

Confused but excited, Rue put the rose and the note back in, pulling out a small dress with a black top and a tu-tu like magenta skirt part. She slipped out of her hospital gown and into it, then zoomed out the skylight, following her implanted GPS to her secret mission...

**_Just keep on going until the next chapter! Believe me, the randomness is overwhelming!_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress._**


	3. Chapter 3 Piggins

Chapter 3- Piggins

It was about 6 days, though it felt like 6 months when she arived at her destination. Rue was worn down and looked like a homeless sixth grader. She landed quietly in the dark of night. Rue took in her suroundings, her new home for who knows how long. It was a city, with bright lights here and there. She spun on her heels, spotting resuraunts she'd never seen before, and stores she could never have heard of before.

She looked around the small town, and started to walk down the sidewalk, reading signs. "Chicky Licky... McMeaty's... Bloaty's Pizza Hog... isn't there any Pumpkin Pie resturaunts?" She asked herself angrily.

"Well, I guess I should really get started on my mission on finding an alien! This would be CONSIDERABLY more fun with pumpkin pie, though!" She pouted for a second, then looked up in the sky and 'ooh'ed. "Look at all the stars! They never let me see any of these in the hospital!" She sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and gazed up for a countless amount of time.

She seemed to be under a trance by the stars, and pulled her rose out of her backpack unconciously. Suddenly, there was a hand waving in front of her face. Rue blinked and jumped to her feet.

"AH!" She screamed at the surprise. She saw a kid about her age, but a little shorter and younger with weird hair and glasses looking about as surprised as her. "Who the heck are you?"

"Here's a better one, who the heck are YOU?" He asked her. Rue narrowed her eyes at the kid with a notably large head .

"I asked you first!" She screamed at him. He looked confused, but answered anyways.

"Well, my name is Dib, but I've never seen you before, did you just move here or something? And what were you just doing?" He asked.

Rue blinked. "Wow, you sure ask a lot of questions! YES! I just got here because  
I'm on a secret mission!" Rue giggled. "And I was SPACING! Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go find an alien!" Rue started to skip away but heard the kid call after her.

"Hey! Wait, girl! I don't know your name, but wait up! I know about aliens too!" Rue didn't stop. She started to run faster, and finally leaped into the air, flying off, leaving the weird kid with all the questions down below to look in surprise up at her. She flew across the town and landed where there was only the sound of traffic. There was a store directly in front of her.

"'The Sidekick Store?'" She asked, reading the sign. "'Just what every secret agent superhero invader guy needs!'" Rue looked at the sign with admiration. She was a secret agent superhero invader guy!

Rue ran into the store with her backpack secured on her back. A tiny bell jingled as she entered the store. She stared at it for a second, fastinated. "Jingle jingle!" She yelled at it, then she scanned the small room. There was no one aperently here. She walked in and look through shelves and shelves of things. She tried guessing what they were.

"Maybe this could be a llama! A small llama that can fly and has lazer eyes! And can speak spanish," Rue guessed, taking interest in a small light pink box labled NUMBER 05736 -PGIS. Suddenly, there was a hand on Rue's shoulder, and she shrieked, whipping around. A short old man behind her looked surprised at her reaction.

"Actually, dear, that would be a pig sidekick," He said in soft, grandfather-like way. Rue Ooh-ed and turned back to the box as if nothing had happend.

"A piggy!" She excalimed. "I want the piggy sidekick!" The old man, confused but tired and ready to get this odd girl out took the box and slammed it to the floor, where a huge poof of dust made you blind for a second. Rue sheilded her eyes and opened them when the dust had cleared, a sleeping pigglet in the place of the pink box.

Rue squeeled and ran up to the pig, wrapping her small arms around the pink animal. It woke up in surprise and blinked. "Aw! You are SO cute! I'm going to name you Piggins!" Piggins just fell asleep again lazily.

The shopowner looked at her warmly. "We rescuced this pig from misuse, he had muffins all over himself and bacon grease all over, which was horribly ironic. The pig costs $103 plus tax, sweetie." Rue dug into her dresspocket and pulled out a thousand dollar and thrust it at the old man.

"TAKE THIS, OLD MAN! WOOF!" Rue screamed, shooting out of the store, flying. The dazzled shopowned blinked a few times, looked at the thousand dollars, his eyes grew huge, and then he fainted.

**_"I do wish things would make sense around here for a change." Alice, Alice in Wonderland_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress._**


	4. Chapter 4 New Digs

Chapter 4: New digs

"' Angel buys pet Pig!'" Rue giggled as she read a newspaper recalling last nights events. She was sitting on the roof of a tall building with Piggins sleeping in her lap. "Lookie, Piggins! We're in the local newspaper! And they called me an angel!" Rue laughed and stood up, looking over the town. Rue closed her eyes, and when they opened again, she was cloaked in gold, her blood-red ponytail replaced with long blonde hair down to her feet, almost. She had wings and had a halo above her head.

Rue giggled again. "Shapeshifting is too much fun!" She blinked again and she was back to normal. "Well, Piggins, we'd better settle in for a normal life here! We have to find an alien!" She picked Piggins delicately up and flew off to a nice looking little cole-de-sac.

"Look, Piggins! We can build a secret base right here!" Rue said and flew down in front of a house next to an odd looking green house with purple. "Hm, let's take that!" Rue said and landed on the in front of the building.

"Hm..." Rue looked thoughtful for a second. "We're going to have to move this building out of the way first," She said and walked up to the building with narrowed eyes. "YOU WANT A PECICE OF ME?" She screamed, pushing the building and not making any progress whatsoever. She grunted and pushed as hard as she could, but she just collapesed into a small pile of Rue.

"Phew, you win this time! But I'll be prepared next time!" Rue said, breathing heavily. Piggins blinked at her, staring, then staring at the building.

"Oink!" He said, walking over to the building. Rue looked up at him, who was aiming his butt up to the building.

"What are you-?"

*PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHH*

Rue blinked and held her nose as she watched the building fall into a pile of nothing in a cloud of fart. She looked in admiration at her farting demolitions leader. She ran up to Piggins and wrapped him in a hug, the fart gradually clearing.

"Now, let's see what we can build, little buddy!" Rue said and looked around to what the green house next door had. She reached into her backpack, pulling out a small iPad-like object. She typed some things in, muttering to herself, coping exactly what that house looked like.

Once she finished, she threw it onto the ground, where it sat there doing nothing. Rue blinked. Nothing. Piggins, who had resumed sleeping, snored. Nothing. A bird overhead pooped next to the iPad. Nothing. Except now it was splattered in bird poop.

"UGH!" Rue screamed. "What is WRONG with this thing?" She ran up to it and kicked it. It rolled away. Rue's expression changed and she ran up to it, getting on her knees.

"No! I didn't mean it! NO! Don't die! You can't die!" She said softly, staring at it. It didn't change whatsoever. Rue started to cry and she cradled the thing. She wiped away a tear. "Well, I guess I better bury you." Rue closed her eyes and stuck it in the ground. Suddenly, there was whiring and Rue stepped back in fear.

"AHH! HE'S COME BACK TO LIVE! WHY, ZOMBIE, WHY?"She screamed and tried to hide behind Piggins, crouching and closing her eyes. There was whirring and the sound of metal clanging for a minute, then it stopped. Rue dared open an eye. She stood up and took in the house before her.

"Ohhh, so THAT'S how you get it to work..." She said to herself, laughing. She compared it to the house next to her. Good, it looked almost exactly the same. The only difference was that on her door, it said Lady and had a picture of a girl in a tutu. "Good!"

She grabbed Piggins and raced inside. She slammed the door behind her, the inside was really cool, with a couch and a picture of a monkey above it and a flat screen TV. It was way better than her small ugly hospital room. But it still looked odd to her, alien-ish in a way. Rue shrugged. She guessed it was supposed to be like her mission, to catch a real life alien.

Rue thought for a second out loud. "Now, what happens when I come across a real alien? Supose it's a nice alien! Then I guess I'll leave them alone. I'll just be their friend! And maybe I'll make them Pumpkin pies! I love pumpkin pies..." She wondered out loud and licked her lips. She realised she was really hungry. Rue looked around and spotted a doorway that most likely lead to food. "The food portal!"

She walked through and looked around the kitchen and giggled. "Why is there a toilet in the kitchen? Silly house! Take the toilet out of the kitchen and put it in the potty room!" Imidiatly, the house obeyed and the toilet disapeared. "That's better, WOOF!" She cried out and ran to the fridge. She swung it open and gasped.

"NO FOOD? WHAT THE DERP?" She screamed and her eyes started to glow crimson. "MOO! THE UH, THE WEASEL STEALER! AND THE CHICKEN... um, THE TOASTER!" She screamed and took a chair from the dining table and threw it against the wall with such force it threw splinters all over the room, waking Rue up from her fit of rage, her eyes dark again.

"What?" She asked no one. "Oh, yeah. Food! Kitchen! Make a pumpkin pie!" She yelled and the kitchen started whiring and clanking. Piggins stumbled into the room, half asleep still, wondering what the odd and scary noise was that was making him wake up. Rue saw him and her face brightened.

"Piggins!" She cried and ran up to him, scooping him up in a hug. Piggins was confused and considerably scared, but he let her snuggle him, because she was warm and smelled good. "Well, Piggins. I think we should probably set you up so you can fly like me! Then you can be Super Piggins!" Rue exclaimed and hugged Piggins tighter.

"We should go over to our neighbor's house and see if they know how to give a sidekick pig superpowers!" Rue said excitedly. "Right now!"

"MISS RUE, PUMPKIN PIE IS READY FOR CONSUMPTION," The house roboticly told her. Rue looked at Piggins for a second, considering. She finally came to a conclution.

"On second thought, why don't we do that after pie?"

**_Quick note to anyone and everyone, probably won't be updating during this week, because skool is evil, and the poor apendaged eighth grade soul known as me HAS TO WORK HER TAIL OFF TO KEEP HER GRADES AT AN ACCEPTABLE A! So I may, or may not. Pretty revealing, right?_**

**_But also, stay away from scented pinecones. They may smell good, but when me and the mother were at Winco last night, I picked up a package of them AND SLICED MY MIDDLE FINGER! But it was cool, because then I didn't have to put all the things in the cart and bag them because my mom didn't have a *ADHESIVE MEDICAL STRIP* with her and I got to suck on my finger :) My blood tastes good..._**

**_If I haven't scared you off already, now may be a good time to run. Or stay if you can handle the randomness :) (BTW, big thankies to mah buddy Invader Clo, who has inspired me with our random conversations that often include Rue in them XD)_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress._**


	5. Chapter 5 The Cute Little doggy

**_Sorry for not updating in a while, but it mostly involves other fics to update, power outages, and pure laziness. (BTW, for any musical lovers out there, guess what I did on Saturday? I went to see the first Phantom of the Opera to be preformed by a high school IN THE NATION! It was at Rogers High School in Washington where I live! XD *Calms self* Eh-hem, moving right along..._**

Chapter 5: The cute little doggy

After a delicious meal of Pumpkin Pie and way too much whipped cream for her own good, Rue skipped outside of her house and looked around. There was no one around... Rue shrugged and walked down the path from her house to the sidewalk, staring at her house and the one next to it. She cocked her head a little, trying to guess who lived there.

"Maybe an alien lives there!" She giggled. She tiptoed her way up to the door, pretending to be a super-secret spy on a mission. She held an imaginary gun up to her head in a very James Bond-like way. She made her way up the steps silently and...

"HEY! IS ANYONE HOME?" She pounded on the door and screamed loud enough to wake the dead. "IS ANYONE HEEEEERE? I NEED YOU TO HELP MY PIG FLY!" Rue stopped pounding and screaming suddenly. The silence was deafening after her outburst. She heard clattering and yelling inside the house. Rue waited patiently.

The door opened, there standing a man and a woman. They both looked odd and robotic. Rue squinted at them. "Why do you look so funny?" She asked them stupidly.

"Aw, that little girl is soooo cute! Have a cookie!" Said the woman, her back twisting in a way Rue never knew was possible. The woman handed Rue an apple and Rue stared at it. She had been expecting a cookie... suddenly, Rue's eyes started to glow crimson.

She looked up at the woman with rage. "YOU...PROMISED... COOKIE!" She screamed, and jumped onto the woman, punching her and kicking her in a fit of rage, the woman yelling at her while the man tried to pull her off with strangly cold and hard arms. But Rue's enhanced body could resist it.

Suddenly, into the room hopped in a small green dog and Rue's eyes flashed dark again. She raced up to the dog, squeezing it in a hug. She completely forgot about the woman lying on the ground, her arm missing and sparks flying from her, also forgeting about her promised cookie.

"Oh my goodness! You are the cutest thing I've seen since Piggins! And that is saying a LOT! Since Piggins is so adorable!" Rue rambled on to the dog. The dog seemed to hug her back and it giggled. Rue stopped hugging it to look at the cute little thing. It was green and had cute little ears, HUGE eyeballs, and a little tounge that stuck out. Rue cooed at it like it was a baby.

"You are so CUTE!" Rue screamed and the dog giggled again.

"I am!" The dog replied and jumped onto Rue's head. Rue gasped and brought him down.

"You can TALK? That is SO cool! I mean, Piggins is amazing, and I'm trying to get him to fly, but I wish he could TALK!" Rue squeeled and giggled, putting the dog back on her head.

"I like pigs..." The dog said. Rue sighed.

"So do I, doggy. So do I... hey, what's your name? My name is Rue! I'm a secret agent, and I have to find an alien! Do you know any aliens? Do you have any pumpkin pie either? I REALLY like pumpkin pie!" Rue went on and on and on, causing the doggy to giggle.

"GIR! Who was at the door? And what's all that noise?" Came a weird voice from down the hall. Rue shut up an stood up, scooping the weird doggy and going off to investigate the mysterious voice.

"Shh... we're gonna see who the scary voice is," Rue whispered to her new little buddy. The dog struggled to be set down but Rue held onto him tight. She saw a shadow pass through the doorway that she guessed was to the food room, because that's what her new house was like. She squeeked a little and the shadow stopped moving.

"Eh?" The voice asked. It was much closer this time. Rue suddenly got really scared for some odd reason.

"JUST DON'T TAKE MAH PIGGINS! OR MY NEW LITTLE BUDDY WHATS-HIS-FACE!" rue screamed at the voice, the shadow running into the room where Rue was and she got a look at who it really was. "ALIEN!" She screamed at the sight of him.

It was a person who was a little shorter than her and had green skin and pinkish eyes, wearing the color long shirt. Rue screamed. The weird kid screamed. The doggy screamed. Rue stopped screaming and walked up to the weird kid, looking at him.

"Are you a nice alien or a mean one?" Rue asked him plainly. His eye twitched.

"GIR! WHY DID YOU LET THIS HUMAN IN THE HOUSE?" He screamed at the dog. Rue narrowed her eyes.

"DON'T YELL AT MY NEW DOGGY BUDDY!" Rue yelled back.

"SILENCE!" He screamed and stole the doggy from her arms. Rue growled and tried to get the doggy back but the alien ran away screaming, with Rue following screaming too.

"GIVE MY MY BUD- AHHHH!" Rue screamed and started running the opositte direction outside the door as a claw arm chased her outside, the door slamming in her face. Rue stood on the porch steps for a second silently.

Then she started pounding on the door. "I! ONLY! WANTED TO! KNOW! IF! YOU COULD! FIX! MY PIG! SO IT COULD FLY!" Rue screamed in between pounds. Eventually she stopped and growled at the door.

"I know how to make pigs fly," Came a voice from behind Rue. She spun around and saw a curious looking girl with a lavender colored dress and purple hair streaked with black and a weird headband. Her eyes looked huge and full of interest. She also had a baby blue colored teddy bear on a leash. Rue blinked and smiled when she saw that the bear was really alive.

"Akt! She's at Zim's door, leave her alone!" The bear whispered and started pushing the purple girl away. Rue stepped down the stairs and ran up to them.

"Wait!" Rue yelled and ran up to the girl and her bear. The bear looked uncomfterble. "Did you say you could make my pig fly?" Rue asked her.

She nodded and looked Rue over. "Wait, are you an invader too?"

Rue looked confused. "Invader? No, I'm a secret agent. I have a mission to capture and find an alien!" The bear's big eyes grew to a huge size and she tugged on the girl's dress.

"Akt! Get away! This girl is trouble!" She whispered feircely. The girl just brushed her off with her hand and the bear got really antsy

"That's cool, well, you want to know who to get a pig to fly?" The girl asked without smiling. Rue nodded vigorously.

"Yes! Come on, my piggy is in my house!" Rue skipped of, the girl following her. After a moment of hesitaion, the bear followed too, close the the purple girl.

**_  
_**

** Tell me**

**_Tell me I'm clever, _****_Tell me I'm kind,_**

**_Tell me I'm talented,_****_Tell me I'm cute,_**

**_Tell me I'm sensitive,_****_Graceful and wise,_**

**_Tell me I'm perfect-_**

**_But tell me the _truth.**

_**-Shel Silverstein, Falling Up**_

_**Best wishes, Aktress**_


	6. Chapter 6 Akt and ZIR

Chapter 6- Akt and ZIR

Rue skipped into her house and looked behind her where the girl was dragging the bear along with her. The bear was struggling to get free but the girl had a strong grip on her. Rue smiled and walked inside over to Piggins, where he was sleeping the the couch.

She saw the girl and bear walk into the house and gasp. "So you are REALLY not an invader?" The girl asked with awe. The bear look more terrified than ever and kicked the girl lightly whispering something to her. Rue shook her head.

"Nope. Hey, my name is Rue, by the way! What's yours?" She asked the odd couple.

"My name is Akt, and this is my bear, ZIR," The girl said, motioning to her unwilling bear, who's eyes just got bigger.

"AKT!" The bear screamed. "What says you can trust her?" Akt rolled her eyes at Rue, smiling for a first.

"ZIR is a little bit of an idiot," Akt laughed and her bear looked a mix of sad and angered, plopping down on the ground.

"It's okay, I think she's adorable!" Rue said, leaning down to pet the bear, who flinched away from her and hissed. Rue shrugged and rose up again, grabbing Piggins. "So this is Piggins, he's the one who needs to fly!"

Akt looked Piggins over closely for a minute. Then she looked back up at Rue. "He's cute." Rue smiled proudly.

"Yes. Yes he is," Rue said smugly. "So how can you get him to fly?" Akt looked at the pig again.

"Easy, I have advanced technology from where I come from," Akt said and smiled up at Rue. There was a groan from ZIR.

"Sure! Let's tell this COMPLETE stranger EVERYTHING!" ZIR complained, still tugging on Akt's arm. "That's just PERFECT!

"So where do you come from?" Rue asked Akt curriously, handing Piggins over to the dark haired girl.

"Oh, I come from somewhere VERY far away. Somewhere beyond everything you know," Akt said mysteriously. ZIR tugged harder.

"AKT! What is WRONG with you? Why are you telling this complete stranger everything about us? You could put our whole mission in jeopardy, if not the whole Irken race!" She hissed. "It's bad enough we've got that stupid Dib kid onto us!" Rue looked at the teddy bear curriously.

"What's an Irken?" Rue asked. Before Akt could open her mouth ZIR yelled.

"I don't know what is wrong with you! You are being even more hard to take care of and you are more crazy than normal! This girl is obviously working on an enemy side!" Snapped the little thing. Rue looked at it, surprised on how it was so angry.

"Aw, it's okay, little teddy bear..." Rue said softly. The little teddy bear's eye twitched and she held her head.

"NO! It's NOT okay! I'm one of the most advanced and most intelligent units of robot they've ever made! I am the one who SHOULD be on Irk right now and should be doing things to help people as high in rank of the Tallests themselves! I shouldn't have to be on this STUPID planet JUST to help conquer a race who is unintelligent, stupid, completely oblivious to EVERYTHING! I shouldn't have to try and work my little butt off just to keep the secrets safe! I shouldn't have to protect Akt becuase she can't defend herself against idiots like that human and fake invader!" ZIR was shaking with anger and for once in her life, Rue felt a certain sadness and sympathy, as well as confusion.

"Would you mind explaining to me what is going on?" Rue asked softly with complete sanity. That was more than she'd ever had in her life. ZIR sighed and looked to Akt.

"Well, we can tell her, I guess. But we'll have to erase her memory afterward," ZIR sighed with a little huff. "She already knows more than the Dib kid does." Akt looked like she had just realised she was doing something wrong.

"Oohhhhh..." She said slowly and drawn out. Rue blinked and ZIR rolled her eyes. "I wasn't being discreet again, was I?" Akt asked her blue buddy. ZIR closed her eyes and nodded. Akt turned to Rue.

"Well, let me fix up your pig while I explain this all to you. And you have to promise not to repeat this to anyone, okay?" Rue nodded vigorously. By now she was so jittery and currious she could hardly stand being still. "Well, ZIR and I-"

"Wait!" ZIR cried out. "I just realized we can't tell her!" Akt and Rue stared at her confused.

"Why not? We'll just erase her brain anyway!" Akt said. Rue nodded, not realizing that brain erasing would most likely be painful and not in any way fun.

"Because she mentioned before she was on an alien duck hunt!" ZIR said with a new fear in her eyes. Akt suddenly looked surprised too. She was holding up a lazer gun, and was sort-of pointing at Piggins with it. It must have to do with his operation, Rue thought.

Rue laughed a little. "Oh, not just an any alien! Only mean ones! Nice ones I'd leave alone. And make them pumpkin pie," Rue closed her eyes and grinned obliviously. Akt and ZIR exchaged relieved glances.

"Well, actually, you don't have to do the whole pumpkin pie thing for us, we really don't like it," Akt said with a laugh. Rue looked confused at her.

" I never said anything about giving you guys pumpkin pie, only ali..." Rue trailed off, a new realasation coming to her. She screamed and ran into the food portal. She peeked out from the doorway to see a confused ZIR and Akt standing there. Rue went back inside to ask them a question.

"Wait, that means you are nice aliens, right? And how come you don't look like aliens? Do you come from a magic place filled with bunnies and everyone looks like a human besides the bunnies? Oh, and blue bears," Rue said, including ZIR into the equation. ZIR shook her small little bear head and laughed.

"Actually, why don't we show you?" ZIR said and started to unzip her skin with a zipper that surprised Rue. Why had'nt she noticed that before? Rue gasped when her skin was peeled off, or should she say costume.

**_(Grrr, can't think of a quote!)_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress_**


	7. Chapter 7 What's an Irken?

Chapter 7: "What's an Irken?"

ZIR wasn't a bear at all, but a tiny robot, with big, pupil-less lavender eyes, white metaly-skin, a small antennae with a lavender glowing heart on the top of it, a purple bow on her top right side of her head and triangle shaped legs. Rue's eyes were huge and she looked ZIR over for another second before laughing uncontrollably. Akt glanced at Rue, confused, before diverting her attention back to Piggins, who was now behind a curtain so no one could see him.

"What?" ZIR, the robot asked. Rue stopped laughing and smiled up at ZIR.

"I thought you said your were aliens! You are really a robot!" Rue giggled again. ZIR didn't see why this was too funny, and raised a metal eyebrow.

"Um, actually, I'm the robot. Akt is what you'd call, the alien. Because to us, YOU'RE the alien!" ZIR said, motioning to Akt, who blinked for longer than normal, and suddenly standing where the dark haired purple wonder was now stood a girl with green skin, lavender eyes like her robot, the same lavender dress, and curly antennaes. She had the same tall black boots on too. Rue gaped at her.

"Are you sure you are just not a shape-shifter like me?" Rue asked in awe and blinked also, suddenly transforming herself to look exactly like Akt in her green alien form. ZIR and Akt gasped and took a step back, before Akt smiled hugely and ran up to her, embracing her like a long-lost sister.

"So you ARE Irken! HA! I knew it! Were we in smeet acadamy ever together? I just graduated a year ago, I've only been here for sixth months, but I havn't seen another Irken except for Zim in AGES!" Akt rambled on, making Rue more confused than even she usually was.

"Wait, who's Zim? What's an Irken?" She blinked and was her normal, Rue self again. Akt stopped hugging her and looked at her.

"Who ARE you?" Akt asked, half scared. ZIR's eyes narrowed and out of her head came a satelite-sort-of object that scanned Rue. Rue squeeked at the thing as a lavender light scanned her up and down. The satelite stopped and went back into the robot's small head.

"My analysis says that she is 105% human, but her body has been enhanced with an unknown substance," ZIR said curriously. Akt, who's attention was diverted to Piggins, who was now sat down on a long, counciling chairs and oinking all his problems to her, looked over to ZIR and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Who do you work for?" The small robot's strong and sharp words felt wrong for her small sweet body. Rue shrugged.

"Just my acadamy, Ralati," Rue said simply. ZIR closed her eyes for a long time, making "Hm.." noises every once in a while. Eventually she spoke, her eyes still closed.

"Ralati Acadamy... what do you do there? And how do you keep in touch with them?" She asked quickly with a snap in her voice. Rue blinked, trying to remember back to Ralati.

"Well, it trains secret agents, and I was one of the best, I think. I lived in a room with white walls and pointy things..." Rue remebered her hospital bed and the needles they had there. "When we go on our missions, we comunicate through the Swollen Eyeball Network."

ZIR opened her narrowed eyes. "That's the same thing that lousy Dib-kid uses," The robot growled. She held up her hand and a small wrist-gun came out of her arm.

"How many gadgets can you fit into your small body?" Rue asked, unaware the gun was pointing at her. ZIR frowned and a mist shot out of the gun hitting Rue directly in the face.

Rue closed her eyes and coughed away the mist. "What the taco?" She said, opening an eye. Through the minescule blur of the mist, she saw the robots eyes were big and surprised.

"Akt! Finish up with that pig quickly! She has no reaction the the memory eraser!" ZIR said hurridly, flinching back from Rue, who stood up again after retreating to the ground.

"Wait! You guys know that I wouldn't tell anyone on the Swollen Eyeball Network about nice aliens!" Rue said quickly, wanting badly to learn more about these aliens. Maybe she could even make friends with them...

ZIR looked at Rue for a second, then to Akt. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you must swear not to tell a living soul about this. Not your little network. not your enemy buddies, no one," ZIR said darkly. Rue nodded happily. Someone actually trusted her! She grinned from ear to ear, which was kind of hard, since it visibly looked like she had no ears. Then again, no one really did...

"There will be no word of Rue to the Tallest, Akt. Do you understand?" ZIR asked her alien friend, who was humming and was fitting a pair of green underwear onto Piggins.

"Hm? Yeah, sure. LOOKIE! I fixed your pig for you! Piggins should be able to fly now!" Akt laughed and chucked the underwear-dressed pig up into the air, who now floated. Rue giggled and floated up with him, drawing colective gasps from the two below. ZIR shook her head.

"What a strange human... Well, I'm guessing you took the liberty of enrolling yourself in the district skool, am I right?" ZIR asked Rue. Rue looked at her blankly.

"Is that spanish?" She asked the robot cluelessly. ZIR sighed.

"Make sure you act normal, I'd say let Akt be your guide, but really, she would most likely end you both up in Guatamala," She sighed. "I guess I can help you with that. I feel like I'm a mother..." ZIR grumbled and grabbed her discarded costume from the ground, zipping it up. "Akt, let's go," ZIR said and Akt blinked, turning human again.

"See you tomarrow! I can explain more later!" Akt waved and smiled hugely. Rue floated to the ground and did the same. Akt and ZIR skipped out the door, well, more like Akt skipped out the door and ZIR ran behind her just to keep up.

Rue sighed and shut the door. "Well, Piggins! It sure has been an exciting day, huh? There's an alien next door, and I'm not sure if it's friendly or not yet, and my new buddies, Akt and ZIR! And I'm going to a skool, whatever THAT is!" She said, flying back up and cradeling Piggins. "Even though I have close to no clue what an Irken or a Zim is, I'm sure my new best friend will tell me!"

Rue yawned. "Well, maybe I should get to bed, Piggins. It it kind of late, huh?" She went to the couch and pulled a blanket and pillow up, falling asleep very soon, awaiting the next day to reveal secrets... of the mysterious sort... well, actually, she was just awaiting more pie.

**_"In most cases, insanity often leads to genius. I am one of the failed cases."_**

**_-Jessi Pitts (1997-present)_**

**_Best wishes, Aktress_**


	8. Chapter 8 Making FriendsIsh

**_It makes me kind of sad how little reveiws I get... I got more on Muffins of Doom and that story was pure crap. Wouldn't you rather reveiw a whimsical story such as this aposed to that story of such little quality?_**

**_(PS, if you ARE looking for a GREAT story, visit my friend, Invader_Clo! She's in the process of writing an amazing PowerPuff Girl Love story! :) LOVE YOU, CLO!)_**

Chapter eight: Making Friends. Ish.

Rue waited outside her new home on her doorstep, a small brown coat wrapped around her in the autumn chill, waiting for her new buddy to come around and pick her up. She stuck out her lip, pouting. What was taking her so long?

Rue had already spotted someone coming out of the house where the dog and alien were, but it was a human. Although the poor guy must've had a skin condition or something, because his skin was all green. When he walked down his front steps, Rue stood and yelled at him.

"HEY! WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE ALIEN'S HOUSE? EXCEPT YOUR NOT AN ALIEN! YOU'RE JUST SOME KID WITH A WEIRD SKIN CONDITION! AND YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THE ALIEN IN YOUR HOUSE AT ALL! PLUS YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE!" Rue screamed at him. He must've gotten scared or something, because then he ran off screaming. Rue shrugged and sat down on the steps again, bored.

Soon enough, she saw Akt, very purple today, racing down the street to her. "Are you ready for skool, human?" Akt asked her with a small smile. Rue nodded.

"Yes! Yes I am!" Rue squeeled. Akt looked at her, confused for a second and then started to giggle too.

"Okay, off we go then!" Akt said and began to walk back down to the sidewalk. Rue followed with a bounce in her step. "Okay, so tell, if you ARE a human, why do you have the same house as Zim?" Rue closed her eyes in thought for a few moments, thinking hard...

"I got nothing. First, tell me who this Zim kid is! It's driving me normal!" Rue exclaimed. Akt raised an eyebrow.

"You mean driving you insa- never mind," Akt said when Rue just gave her a blank stare. "Well, Zim is an Irken, like me. He's like me, except he's on a fake mission!" Akt laughed. "This idiot nearly blew up our entire planet! It was MASS chaos!" She started to laugh so hard, she needed Rue to lean on. Although Rue wasn't much help since she was cracking up too. They both fell on the ground, laughing like idiots. Well, more like they WERE laughing idiots.

"Heh heh, sorry, I just find mass chaos and horrible explosions fun," Akt said, finishing her giggle fit. Rue grinned.

"Explosions!" Rue said stupidly.

"So anyways, he, like, thinks he so cool because he doesn't know he's all fake! But he's still kind of dangerous, ZIR says. He's got this HUGE lab! I don't know WHERE he learned to make all that stuff! But he also has a little robot-slave too, only his has a different name I think."

"So what's your story?" Rue asked Akt. Akt looked ahead blankly.

"It's kinda long," She said. Rue shrugged.

"Soooo?" Rue prompted. Akt sighed and began.

"I'm an Irken scientist who came to earth to study the Blerksh that keep the earth warm in the center," Akt said. Rue gave her a completely blank look.

"The what?" Rue asked.

"The Blerksh. Except that I havn't found any yet... but I will!" Akt said triumphantly. Rue blinked, excpecting more. "The end."

"THAT was your long story?" Rue asked. Akt nodded. "Good, it was getting really long and I was losing my attention span."

"Of, course it'd still be a bonus to blow up earth. By the way, ZIR said to stay away from Zim. You can tell who Zim is because his discise is horrible! He's got this stupid pompadour like an Elvis impersonator, and wears conacts. He still has his normal skin and invader's suit on! He looks so normal that it stands out from what you crazy humans wear!" Akt started to chuckle again. "Idiot..."

"Oh, okay! What's a pompadour? And Elvis? And contacts?" Rue asked her. Akt seemed to be ignoring her. "And normal? And invader? And 'it'?" Rue looked ahead, where a tall building was in front of them, labeled SKOOL in the front. "And- Ooh!"

"Shh!" Akt covered Rue's mouth. "They're here!"

"Hmph's wmph?" Rue tried to say 'Who's here?' with Akt's hand covering her mouth but failed. Akt grabed Rue in a battering-ram style and ran up to a tree where she ran verticly up, defying both the laws of physics and sanity.

"THEM," Akt said, pointing down dramaticly to the lawn of the skool. Rue looked down, expecting some horrible, hideous monster... The full orchestra of Jaws rehersing in the tree helped set the mood.

But all there was was an empty lawn. Rue blinked. "What am I looking at?" She asked. Akt laughed.

"Oh, I guess they're not here yet! Usually they are!" Akt said and hopped down from the tree "Thanks, John!" She waved to the conductor and he smiled and waved back, then the orchestra randomly disapeared. Rue blinked, wondering if she just imagined it.

"Was that the orchestra from Jaws...?" Rue asked. Akt nodded.

"Yeah. I know people," Akt said and skipped into the back of someone. She pushed whoever's back she's slammed into. "WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR BACK!"

The person turned around around and rolled his eyes at Akt. Rue cocked her head at the guy. "Hey..." Rue wondered out loud. The boy turned to Rue and his eyes got wider.

"Hey! You're that girl! The one on the street a few days ago! How did you fly? Wait, are you an invader too? Why doesn't anywhere else but this town get Irkens?" That kid rambled on. Rue cringed. His voice was kind of making her feel sick. And his head was too big.

"YOUR HEAD IS SO BIG!" Rue screamed. The kid shut up.

"It is NOT! Why does everyone say that?" He asked, annoyed.

"Yes, it is. AND I'M NOT AN INVADER! I'M A SCIENTIST! AND RUE IS NOT AN INVADER! Duh, she's a whole freaking 105% human!" Akt said in Rue's defense, glaring at the big headed kid.

"That's not even possible! Nothing can be over 100%!" Big head kid argued.

Akt rolled her eyes. "Except we're in a poorly written fanfiction. Anything is possible in a fanfic, weasel-brain." Dib crossed his arms.

"Touche," He glared at her. "So if she's not an Irken, what is she?" Akt sighed.

"A human, DUH! She's new here, and I'm just showing her around! Yup, just a new human that HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH YOUR STINKING NETWORK!" Akt screamed. All the kids on the playground stopped and stared at the three. "I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!" Akt screamed and ran off in a Rue-battering ram style again across to the other side of the skool.

They stopped and Akt put Rue down. There was silence for a moment. "LOUD NOISES!" Rue screamed. Akt nodded.

"That was Dib. He's onto us," Akt said through gritted teeth. "Stay away from him, he's trouble. And he is annoying to add onto that." Akt's face brightend. "But his sister is my best friend! C'Mon! I'll introduce you to Gaz!" Akt skipped off, tugging Rue along, who after a moment of tumbling started to skip too.

They skipped to the right side of skool, where a short girl with monster-jaw-like purple hair. She was sitting on the grass, seemingly not affected by the chilly weather because she didn't look cold. Her eyes were closed and she looked concentrated on a video game. Akt skipped right up to her and stuck her face right in front of her video game.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, GAZZY!" Akt screamed. The girl shoved Akt's head out of the way with one hand and concentrated on the game with the other hand.

"Go away," The girl grumbled. Akt moved her head from the girl's hand and sat down next to her, peering over her shoulder.

"Whatcha' dooooooooin'?" Akt said sing-songy. The girl's lip twitched and she stood up. Suddenly her face was all sunshine and rainbows.

"Hey! Best friend! You want to play a game?" The purple haired girl with dramatic mood swings asked Akt. Akt bounced up and down.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyes!" Akt jumped up and down. The girl's happy face twitched.

"It's called... SHOVE YOUR FACE IN A TREE!" The girl yelled, her sunshine and rainbow-y face disapearing, and tossing Akt with such force, her face hit a nearby tree with a THUD. Rue stared silently, then started to laugh in spite of her best friend's face shoved in a tree.

"Mmf if a mhh fmm!" Akt said through the tree. She pulled her head rapidly from the tree. "I mean, that is a fun game!" The opened one eye and gave Akt a crazy glare.

"You're like the boss on Vampire Piggy hunter Two, you just never die do you?" She said to herself and walked away quickly. Akt sighed.

"Isn't she just the GREATEST? Her name is Gaz, and I'm sure she'll be your BFF too!" Akt said, oblvious she had been insulted and someone wished she'd die.

Rue bit her lip. "Well... actually, I think that Gaz..." She said slowly. "How should I say this? Well... SHE IS THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER! SHE IS TOTALLY MY SECOND BEST FRIEND!" Rue squeeled, as oblivious as Akt. Akt grinned. The skool bell rang.

Rue glared at the bell. "Same to you!" She yelled angrily at it. Akt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I speak skool-bell," Rue said proudly.

"Really? What did it say?" Akt asked curriously.

"It said, GET TO CLASS, YOU SON OF A -" But Rue got interupted by a scream across the skoolyard. Rue and Akt looked over to a small kid with green skin and black hair pointing at the two.

How the girls reacted couldn't have been more different. Akt wrinkled her nose in discust and stuck out her togune. "Zim," She growled.

But Rue's eyes grew huge. She started breathing fast and she started to smile hugely as huge, cartoony hearts floated above her head. Akt looked worried. "Um, Rue? Why are there hearts above your head?" But Rue zoomed with her mutant-like speed over to the green-skinned Zim.

"Hi, my name is Rue! You're cute! I like you!" Rue said quickly and squished Zim in a huge bear hug. Zim's eyes bulged and he tried to claw his way free as he couldn't breathe. Rue just hugged him tighter. "I'm going to hug you and hug you and hug you!" Rue cried out. Finally, she let Zim go.

Zim, crumpled up and nearly dead from the hug stared at her with horror in his eyes. He screamed and ran into the skool franticly. Rue stared off into his direction dreamily. Akt tapped Rue's shoulder.

"Uh, Rue?" Akt asked with worry in her voice.

"Yeeees?" Rue asked sing-songy. Akt gave her a weird look.

"No, you can't like Zim. Because in a fanfiction, the main character ALWAYS ends up with Zim. I won't allow this to be a Mary-Sue. It's not fair to me or any other character," Akt said franticly. Then she shut up, suddenly thinking. "Well, I guess he DID run away in horror at sight of you... I guess we'll be okay."

"Ohhh, was that Zim?" Rue asked, shaking away the hearts. "So, he's like an alien too?" Akt nodded. Then her face brightend.

"Rue! Perfect! We could send you off with Zim! To your acadamy! Your mission would be complete! You have to do that!" Akt bounced up and down. Rue stuck her lip out.

"But I promised I would hurt a friendly alien.." Rue trailed off. Akt rolled her eyes.

"But he's NOT friendly! Can't you see? He's stupid, and would be easily caught!" Akt said, with some sparkle to her eyes. But Rue looked sad for a moment.

"No, I won't," Rue said with determination in her voice. Akt gave her a confused look.

"Why? It's the perfect plan!" Akt argued. Rue shook her head.

"Just... no. He's too adorable. And wouldn't that just make this fic boring, for it to just end?" Rue said back. It was Akt's turn to pout. She gave Rue a moody glare.

"Fine, but we'd better get to class, we'll be late for Miss Nevaeh!" Akt said and dragged Rue into the skool buliding.

_**"Dumb people are blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are."**_

_**-Patrick from Spongebob (Curse that Zim killer!)**_

_**Best Wishes, Aktress.**_


	9. Chapter 9 Rue Stirr

**_I have found a rather interesting discovery. It seems that reader on Fanfiction LIKE horrible stories! I daresay that my previous tale's, Muffins of Doom, popularity was increasingly higher than this! (Serriously people, my piolite self cannot say this, but WHAT IS YOUR ISSUE? You'd rather read a freaking Mary-Sue than something genuinly funny? I know, I don't update often, but I'm pleading! Maybe not for my story, but for all other stories! I never hear any 'Hey, when will you unpdates?' or anything! It's getting on my nerves! I might switch to a different catergory, like PPG or something...)_**

**_This is my last instalment of the Rue Era: The Insanity Begins. I was originally planning for a series like next story, but after your neglegtment to read my work, I'm not so sure. So if I get three (JUST THREE!) or more reviews saying I shall continue, I will. But my insecurity is at an all-time high._**

**_Please enjoy this last chapter._**

Chapter nine: Rue Stirr

Akt and Rue slipped into classroom 14, also known as Miss Neveah's sixth grade class just as the bell gave a final ring. All the kids in the room were perfectly still and quiet, and it was giving Rue a weird feeling. Rue took a seat behind Akt in the middle row. 

"Akt!" She whispered as Akt took her place and folded her hands neatly. "Aaaaaakt?" Akt turned around.

"What?" She asked. Rue looked around the classroom uncertainly.

"Is there going to be a ninja attack test today? Or at least a lecture on how to kill a man with a dull pencil?" Rue asked her. Akt blinked and laughed.

"No, silly! We're at skool! We do skool stuff, not ninja stuff!" Akt turned around, still chuckling and before Rue could point out that to her ninja stuff and skool were often put into the same catergory, a lady with streaming blonde hair skipped into the classroom joyfully. She was wearing a flowing hippie-like dress (which was most likely recycled or made with paper) and had her Rapunzel-like hair fastened to her skull with a headband. She had a huge, white toothy smile plastered on her face. As she arived at her desk, she was follwed by numberous animals.

"Oooh, I wish I could play more, but now I have to teach my wonderful children!" Her voice chimed to the forest critters. They didn't leave. One of the woman's eyes twitched slightly. "I said... GET OUT BEFORE I TURN YOU ALL INTO THE SKOOL LUNCH LIKE I DID WITH BAMBI!" She screeched, and all the animals high-tailed it. The door slammed itself shut.

The room was silent for a minute, then the woman smiled again. "Hello, class!" She sang.

"Hello, Miss. Neveah!" the class chimed back. Rue looked around at everyone curriously. When they had finnished greeting their teacher, and it was all quiet, Rue stood up.

"Hi! Hi, Miss Neveah! You don't know me, but hi!" She says and waved like mad. Miss Neveah gasped with pleasure.

"Why, class! We seem to have a new student! Please, come to the room, child! Introduce yourself!" Miss Neveah clapped gleefully and waved Rue to the front of the room. Rue leaped up and skipped to the front of the room. 

"Pst! ZIR said that your fake last name is Stirr!" Akt stage whispered to Rue on her way up. Rue nodded.

Everyone stared at Rue in the front of the classroom. "Well, my name is Rue. Rue Stirr!" She said oblivious to how her name sounded. But the class was aware of this and started laughing like mad.

"Rooster!" Everyone called out and laughed. Rue grinned.

"Glad I can make you all laugh! And if you ever spot an alien, let me know! Unless it's friendly. Friendly aliens can be left alone. And Akt is totally not an alien, especially a friendly one!" She said over the class still howling over her last name. Akt gave her a thumbs up.

"Thank you, Rue! We will enjoy having you on our adventure in learning!" Miss Nevaeh said cheerfully. Suddenly, the bell rang again. "Oops! looks like our rediculously short time together has ended! Go to lunch, my darlings!"

The whole class stopped laughing and started talking to each other as they filed out the door to the lunchroom. Rue waited for Akt at the front of the classroom. Akt hopped out of her seat and walked down to the lunchroom with Rue.

"Do you have your own lunch or are you going to buy one?" Akt asked Rue. Rue looked over to the lunch line and grew increasingly hungry.

"I think I'm going to buy lunch..." She said with hunger for pumpkin pie. Rue walked to the lunch line and cut in front of everyone else. "Listen, lady. Just get me a pumpkin pie and no one gets hurt," Rue said casually. The lunch lady gave her a glare.

"Today is slop. You eat slop. You like slop," The lady said and gave Rue a tray of slop. Rue stared at it and suddenly, her eyes glowed crimson. She reached into her pocket and brought out some kind of water-pistol but was as big as a bazooka.

"GIVE ME PIE, WOMAN!" She screamed and the woman's face drained of all color and she gave Rue a big grin, handing her a freshly-baked pie.

"Please, if you don't kill me, you can have pie every day, just don't hurt me!" She cried and ducked behind the counter. Rue's eyes turned coal black again and she put the pistol away into her pocket, it seemingly shrinking. She grabbed the pie, threw a twenty at the lady and skipped on over to Akt, who was looking for a place to eat.

Rue pointed to an empty table where Zim was sitting. "WE'RE SITTING THERE!" She screamed and ran up to his table, plopping down. "Hiiii!" Rue said and grinned like a cheshire cat at Zim.

He stared at her as Akt sat down next to Rue and sighed. "I guess we're sitting here."

"Akt! You are not permited to sit at the table of Zim! Wait..." Zim said, looking at Rue. "You!"

Rue grinned. "Me!"

"No, you! You were at my base last night, trying to steal my robot! What are you? Are you some kind of spy for the Dib?" Zim said, standing up and pointing an acusing finger at Rue. Rue just smiled and giggled.

"Ohhh, so YOU'RE the alien! And I was playing with my new doggy buddy!" Rue said in a 'DUH' kind of voice. "And, no, Dib's head is too big, I wouldn't work for him!"

"It is NOT!" Rue heard Dib call from a different table. Dib walked up to the table. "Ah ha!

Working with the enemy, you HAVE to be some kind of alien too!" Rue looked at him closely.

"Hey... you look like Agent Mothman..." Rue observed his big head and face. Dib looked so shocked, his face could explode.

"How do you know that? Are you some kind of mind reader? Do you have freaky alein powers?" He said, rather unnerved but also thrilled with the new discovery.

"Hey! You ARE Agent Mothman! I'm Agent Weaselball!" Rue said excitedly. Dib's jaw dropped.

"Wait, you mean the crazy famous Weaselball? It said that she'd escaped and was on the rampage... uh oh," He said, staring at her with newfound horror. "You escaped from jail?"

Rue laughed. "I was never in jail! What crazy tabloids have YOU been reading? I'm on a secret mission to find, capture, and bring an alien back to the acadamy!" Rue said and turned around to her pie. 

"But there's two aliens SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! GET THEM!" Dib yelled. Rue rolled her eyes.

"Serriously, they are NICE aliens!" Rue said. "Nice aliens will not be captured!"

"I am no NICE alien! I am evil! And a genius! But, not an evil genius. Zim is no evil genius, NO! I am not a NICE invader!" Zim spat to Rue. Rue batted her eyelashes.

"Maybe, but you are too adorable to be caught," She said and winked at Zim. His face turned pale. Dib groaned.

"Please tell me this won't be a Mary-sue," He groaned. Rue smiled.

"Already promised! Hey! The gang's all here!" She said, looking around the table. "Except ZIR's not here, and the little doggy isn't here, and my other best friend Gaz isn't here!"

"I am NOT your best friend!" Gaz called from the other side of the cafeteria.

Rue shrugged and resumed shoving her face into the pie.

"Pumpkin pie? Yuck," Dib said to himself, but Rue heard it. With a flash of red on her eyes, Rue was suddenly on the ground, beating Dib senceless for his comment.

Akt looked at the fight, then to Zim, then to you, the reader. 

"It's going to be a long season, isn't it?"

**_The End._**

**_Best wishes, Aktress._**


End file.
